When was the last time you???
~woke up in the middle of the night smelling beef and cheese and wanting to vomit?
~realized you left your purse in your boyfriend's vehicle and went scampering as fast as you can down the street trying to catch him, but failing of course; all the while wondering why you would get your key out to unlock the door and then set the purse back down? makes no sense.
~put on an outfit that you thought was cute in a comfy way only to have your bfff tell you that you look like a watermelon?
~went to the fire station to get your purse out of said boyfriend's vehicle and were followed around by a creepy annoying guy playing bagpipes?
~saw a van full of Tibetan monks at the local Goodwill?
~found books 1-5 of the Harry Potter series, hardback versions, for only 25 cents each?
~went to Wal-mart to buy movie candy only to find that they don't have cookie dough bites, peanut butter M&Ms, or dark chocolate M&Ms?
~went to see Nights in Rodanthe only to be reminded that you were this stinking close to meeting Richard Gere and James freaking Franco last summer while vacationing in N. Carolina and visiting your movie set builder cousins, but the weather was too bad to go on set?
~went to the video store for one particular movie that happened to be rented out already, and instead were harassed by Steve Savage once again?
~came home to realize you didn't have your house key, because it isn't attached to the rest of your keys, and you didn't have any pockets or a purse to put it in because you are dressed like a watermelon and you left your purse in your boyfriend's vehicle; your roommate doesn't have her keys either so you had to break into your own house with a credit card?
true story people...just an ordinary day in the life of Kris and Tiff on a Sunday afternoon!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
weird dream
For the past week I have been having the weirdest dreams. Usually the only time I remember my dreams is when my hormones are actin a fool. I mean, we all know how crazy my body is and all my weird issues, what with my two uteruses and all, so imagine what could possibly go through my mind during my short intervals of actual slumber.
Lately, there has been one common factor in all of my weird dreams...an old friend who used to take me to every homecoming, and who was just a very big part of my fbcs days, a former model (LOL), and someone I joked around with all the time...good old Sam. WHY he keeps popping up in my dreams, I have no idea. Maybe I should call him and tell him that I keep seeing him in my nightmares, which he will probably interpret to mean "fantasies" GROSS! but anyway...these dreams are so colorful, so vivid, and so strange!
During last night's adventure in dreamland, with Sam my unofficial companion, there were a lot of buses, like thousands. It seemed like everybody was in a hurry to get on the right bus, so I was running with a group of people, and I was wearing a silvery-white dress that was all torn at the bottom, and my cute black and purple plaid jacket, and I was carrying books but I wasn't going to class. I jumped on one of the buses, but they told me it was the wrong one and they pushed me off. I fell down the steps and my dress got caught in the closing door, which made it tear again. So, my dress is is no longer a dress, but a rag that is falling off my body with one long flowing piece going down one leg. (I don't know, it seemed important)
I ran to what I thought was the correct bus, which actually was a train. Well, part of a train. It was purple and red, and I walked to the front of the train when I saw him. There was Sam, the conductor! But I thought I was supposed to drive the train, because I pulled out my white and blue striped conductor's hat and put it on, insisting that he move over and let me drive. We ended up being co-conductor's, which was strange. We arrived at this large building, which we thought was the game, but when we went inside a creepy old lady told us everybody else was downstairs. I remember looking at a very twisty, very long, creepy looking spiral staircase that just kept going down, down, down. I was about to say we were in the wrong place, when Sam grabbed my hand and started running down the stairs.
He started acting really weird and nervous and kept saying, "We gotta stop them, We gotta stop them!" I was like, "Sam! Stop Who?? Who do we have to stop?!?!"
"The Villains!" was his one-word reply, but it sent cold chills down my spine.
I knew who he was talking about. There were a group of mutant people (kinda like that show Heroes, which I don't even watch) who were rapidly turning into villains. Our main concern was one girl who was set out to first destroy me for some reason, then the rest of the city. She was giant and she came out of the water wearing a red dress. She had reddish eyes and really long fingers. There was a smaller version of her inside a cage though. I don't really know why, but I went after the one in the cage. Sam was nowhere to be found at this point. He had rattled off something about going to find the "other one" before he got to the train...
I crawled into the cage, but I had something in my jacket. The villain starting clawing at me and doing weird villainy things, when I remembered what I had in my jacket! I pulled out an old chinese looking cat, and she started flipping out!! All of a sudden I made some kind of sound and a bunch of these cats came out of the walls and started going toward the giant version of the villain girl, who started to disintegrate.
I grabbed the original cat, and began running back to the train! Something was chasing me. I finally reached the train, but it was already moving, so Sam (who was wearing a tux?) was yelling for me to jump on, but I kind of flew on, it was pretty sweet. Then I looked behind at me at the villain that was chasing me, and I threw the cat at him, and our train disappeared into a porthole type thing.
Then it was just me and Sam driving the train, and then the cat appeared on my lap. He told me I was very brave and smart for remembering to bring the cat, and that the conductor hat looked cute on me. To which I replied, "Yeah, you're jealous!" And we just kept going...
Lately, there has been one common factor in all of my weird dreams...an old friend who used to take me to every homecoming, and who was just a very big part of my fbcs days, a former model (LOL), and someone I joked around with all the time...good old Sam. WHY he keeps popping up in my dreams, I have no idea. Maybe I should call him and tell him that I keep seeing him in my nightmares, which he will probably interpret to mean "fantasies" GROSS! but anyway...these dreams are so colorful, so vivid, and so strange!
During last night's adventure in dreamland, with Sam my unofficial companion, there were a lot of buses, like thousands. It seemed like everybody was in a hurry to get on the right bus, so I was running with a group of people, and I was wearing a silvery-white dress that was all torn at the bottom, and my cute black and purple plaid jacket, and I was carrying books but I wasn't going to class. I jumped on one of the buses, but they told me it was the wrong one and they pushed me off. I fell down the steps and my dress got caught in the closing door, which made it tear again. So, my dress is is no longer a dress, but a rag that is falling off my body with one long flowing piece going down one leg. (I don't know, it seemed important)
I ran to what I thought was the correct bus, which actually was a train. Well, part of a train. It was purple and red, and I walked to the front of the train when I saw him. There was Sam, the conductor! But I thought I was supposed to drive the train, because I pulled out my white and blue striped conductor's hat and put it on, insisting that he move over and let me drive. We ended up being co-conductor's, which was strange. We arrived at this large building, which we thought was the game, but when we went inside a creepy old lady told us everybody else was downstairs. I remember looking at a very twisty, very long, creepy looking spiral staircase that just kept going down, down, down. I was about to say we were in the wrong place, when Sam grabbed my hand and started running down the stairs.
He started acting really weird and nervous and kept saying, "We gotta stop them, We gotta stop them!" I was like, "Sam! Stop Who?? Who do we have to stop?!?!"
"The Villains!" was his one-word reply, but it sent cold chills down my spine.
I knew who he was talking about. There were a group of mutant people (kinda like that show Heroes, which I don't even watch) who were rapidly turning into villains. Our main concern was one girl who was set out to first destroy me for some reason, then the rest of the city. She was giant and she came out of the water wearing a red dress. She had reddish eyes and really long fingers. There was a smaller version of her inside a cage though. I don't really know why, but I went after the one in the cage. Sam was nowhere to be found at this point. He had rattled off something about going to find the "other one" before he got to the train...
I crawled into the cage, but I had something in my jacket. The villain starting clawing at me and doing weird villainy things, when I remembered what I had in my jacket! I pulled out an old chinese looking cat, and she started flipping out!! All of a sudden I made some kind of sound and a bunch of these cats came out of the walls and started going toward the giant version of the villain girl, who started to disintegrate.
I grabbed the original cat, and began running back to the train! Something was chasing me. I finally reached the train, but it was already moving, so Sam (who was wearing a tux?) was yelling for me to jump on, but I kind of flew on, it was pretty sweet. Then I looked behind at me at the villain that was chasing me, and I threw the cat at him, and our train disappeared into a porthole type thing.
Then it was just me and Sam driving the train, and then the cat appeared on my lap. He told me I was very brave and smart for remembering to bring the cat, and that the conductor hat looked cute on me. To which I replied, "Yeah, you're jealous!" And we just kept going...
Friday, September 26, 2008
P-A-R-T---Y???? because I gotta!!
Country music queen strikes again!! Today, she brought in pictures of a bunch of singers she has met (by being in their fan clubs), and my one co-worker and I were making fun of one of the guys that she thought was hot, which apparently was the wrong thing to do! She was belligerent!! She grabbed her photo album out of our hands and said she was never going to show us any pictures again!!
Excuuuuuuse me! Country singers just don't do it for me...but anyway...
Plans for the weekend include:
FRIDAY:
~my friend Tammy's final going away party...she joined the Peace Corps and will be gone for 2 years
~there are cookies downstairs that need to be eaten sometime before I go to bed :)
SATURDAY:
~my friend Aubs' open house party or whatever you call it when you celebrate getting a new home...
~one of Brain's friend's is also having an open house party that we are going to...there's gonna be a jumper, we are pretty excited about that!
~the hot tub!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!
SUNDAY:
~church
~the rest of Sunday kind of depends on when my roommie will be home...but there's the new Richard Gere/James Franco movie out this weekend, and I need to see it!!!
~work on Brain's birthday present
Excuuuuuuse me! Country singers just don't do it for me...but anyway...
Plans for the weekend include:
FRIDAY:
~my friend Tammy's final going away party...she joined the Peace Corps and will be gone for 2 years
~there are cookies downstairs that need to be eaten sometime before I go to bed :)
SATURDAY:
~my friend Aubs' open house party or whatever you call it when you celebrate getting a new home...
~one of Brain's friend's is also having an open house party that we are going to...there's gonna be a jumper, we are pretty excited about that!
~the hot tub!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!
SUNDAY:
~church
~the rest of Sunday kind of depends on when my roommie will be home...but there's the new Richard Gere/James Franco movie out this weekend, and I need to see it!!!
~work on Brain's birthday present
Sunday, September 21, 2008
It's like Kenny Chesney says...
...uh, "She thinks my tractor's sexy"????
So, there's this woman at work who is completely obsessed with country music, and she talks about country music singers like they are real people who she knows personally and sees every day. The other day, I was having a somewhat heart-to-heart conversation with her about something relatively important, when she goes, "Well, it's just like Kenny Chesney says..." then she proceeded to spout out some song lyric that was not applicable in the slightest, but it made for an amusing story and/or blog. So now, being the kind hearted person that I am, whenever a friend is trying to have a heart-to heart with me, I bestow upon them the same words of encouragement from the great Kenny Chesney...ha! Too bad I can't even remember half of his songs. I'll just start saying, "Well, if it makes you feel better...or...I know this may not particularly apply...but...I think your tractor's sexy!"
In other news...
~ Clariton is a Godsend!! However, I forgot to take it last night, and I am suffering the effects this morning. I may or may not have used half a box of Kleenex brand tissue in a half an hour time span.
~I am a little tempted to forgo all of my dreams of helping the orphans find families to go to bull riding school. But when I really think of the pro's and con's of each, I guess I will stick to social work. I mean, what would I say during my judgment, "Uh, sorry Lord, I misunderstood, You didn't call me into bull riding? No? oh."
~On Thursday night, I began an insanely pathetic Dawson's Creek marathon, which is nowhere near completed. I am currently on Season 2, but I'm not sure what disc...
~My mom and sister are coming to town in like 2 weeks!!! I'm super stoked about this :)
That's all for now friends. Until next time, remember...I think your tractor's sexy!
So, there's this woman at work who is completely obsessed with country music, and she talks about country music singers like they are real people who she knows personally and sees every day. The other day, I was having a somewhat heart-to-heart conversation with her about something relatively important, when she goes, "Well, it's just like Kenny Chesney says..." then she proceeded to spout out some song lyric that was not applicable in the slightest, but it made for an amusing story and/or blog. So now, being the kind hearted person that I am, whenever a friend is trying to have a heart-to heart with me, I bestow upon them the same words of encouragement from the great Kenny Chesney...ha! Too bad I can't even remember half of his songs. I'll just start saying, "Well, if it makes you feel better...or...I know this may not particularly apply...but...I think your tractor's sexy!"
In other news...
~ Clariton is a Godsend!! However, I forgot to take it last night, and I am suffering the effects this morning. I may or may not have used half a box of Kleenex brand tissue in a half an hour time span.
~I am a little tempted to forgo all of my dreams of helping the orphans find families to go to bull riding school. But when I really think of the pro's and con's of each, I guess I will stick to social work. I mean, what would I say during my judgment, "Uh, sorry Lord, I misunderstood, You didn't call me into bull riding? No? oh."
~On Thursday night, I began an insanely pathetic Dawson's Creek marathon, which is nowhere near completed. I am currently on Season 2, but I'm not sure what disc...
~My mom and sister are coming to town in like 2 weeks!!! I'm super stoked about this :)
That's all for now friends. Until next time, remember...I think your tractor's sexy!
Monday, September 15, 2008
rainy days and mondays...
The high winds caused me and tiff to stay in last night...She was a little antsy playing with her yoga ball, and I was just plain cranky. We didn't lose power which was good...Our gargoyles stayed in place on our porch, which is also good. They keep the toads at bay!
I couldn't fall asleep forever last night, then I was restless when I finally did...I woke up before my alarm went off, and the only time that is okay with me is when I still have like an hour left to sleep, but noooo! I had like 12 minutes.
I just don't feel exactly right...I don't know what's going on...The only thing I can think of is the hormones from my recently prescribed birth control pills, or maybe one of my uteruses isn't working again...All I can say is I feel like I'm going a little crazy, like every nerve in my body wants to go in a different direction all at the same time...
So, needless to say, I didn't feel like going to work...or school...the power was out at the Medina center anyway, but of course we still had to go in to take our statistics test...I realized I had a test this morning, so I had to go purchase a $100+ calculator so I at least had a small chance of getting a few questions right. I don't even know how to use the stupid calculator!! Let's just say, there were more than one blank spaces where answers should have gone. That's the story of my life, in terms of mathematics...a mental blank!!
Things to look forward to for the rest of this dreary day:
*an all-new episode of Prison Break at 9pm
*the gargoyles are still keeping the toads at bay, so I don't have to tip-toe down the sidewalk on my way to my vehicle
*I only have two more hours left of work
the end...hope everyone else's day is brighter :)
I couldn't fall asleep forever last night, then I was restless when I finally did...I woke up before my alarm went off, and the only time that is okay with me is when I still have like an hour left to sleep, but noooo! I had like 12 minutes.
I just don't feel exactly right...I don't know what's going on...The only thing I can think of is the hormones from my recently prescribed birth control pills, or maybe one of my uteruses isn't working again...All I can say is I feel like I'm going a little crazy, like every nerve in my body wants to go in a different direction all at the same time...
So, needless to say, I didn't feel like going to work...or school...the power was out at the Medina center anyway, but of course we still had to go in to take our statistics test...I realized I had a test this morning, so I had to go purchase a $100+ calculator so I at least had a small chance of getting a few questions right. I don't even know how to use the stupid calculator!! Let's just say, there were more than one blank spaces where answers should have gone. That's the story of my life, in terms of mathematics...a mental blank!!
Things to look forward to for the rest of this dreary day:
*an all-new episode of Prison Break at 9pm
*the gargoyles are still keeping the toads at bay, so I don't have to tip-toe down the sidewalk on my way to my vehicle
*I only have two more hours left of work
the end...hope everyone else's day is brighter :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Forget the hippopotomus...I only want one uterus for christmas!!
Life never gets dull for me...Never...I had to go back to the gynecologist yesterday for a more extensive examination, and for some bibopsy-bipobs-bibop--the bibopsies (biopsies) which I had been nervous about for the past month!! I, of course, was convinced I had cancer and was tormenting my roommie and my "brain" with the possibility...yeah! I'm melodramatic like that...That all went okay, although the procedure was highly uncomfortable, and I was in pain the remainder of the day, the good news is I don't have anything to worry about...
...but the good doctor went on to tell me that he noticed something this time that he hadn't seen last time, and he proceeded to draw diagrams of a normal cervix, a normal uterus, followed by my cervix/uterus...or *pause*...my uteri? my uteruses? I've decided that "uteri" is the plural form of uterus...
...Yes, folks, it's true...If I couldn't be any weirder, the gynecologist had to go and tell me that I have a Double Uterus...What the H is that?! Who has 2 uteruses/uteri?? I could only respond with a look of sheer horror, to which he chuckled, and tried to reassure me by telling me I wasn't a "freak of nature." And the risks I will have during pregnancy and childbirth...Yikes! Weird! That's all I can say! Well, that's not entirely true...I made up a song about them...Instead of wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas, "I only want one uterus for Christmas, only one uterus will do, not uteri, or two uteruseses...I only want ONE uteruuuusssss." lol just a little bit of my sick humor :)
So...who has heard of this before? Please don't be shy...I'm not obviously...I have a million questions forming in my mind, as I await my next appointment, but until then my friends and I decided to name them, Barats and Bereta, which ones which it doesn't really matter...or which one works it doesn't really matter...lol...The only thing I know for sure is this explains all the problems I've had with my cycle...But seriously? Two???
...but the good doctor went on to tell me that he noticed something this time that he hadn't seen last time, and he proceeded to draw diagrams of a normal cervix, a normal uterus, followed by my cervix/uterus...or *pause*...my uteri? my uteruses? I've decided that "uteri" is the plural form of uterus...
...Yes, folks, it's true...If I couldn't be any weirder, the gynecologist had to go and tell me that I have a Double Uterus...What the H is that?! Who has 2 uteruses/uteri?? I could only respond with a look of sheer horror, to which he chuckled, and tried to reassure me by telling me I wasn't a "freak of nature." And the risks I will have during pregnancy and childbirth...Yikes! Weird! That's all I can say! Well, that's not entirely true...I made up a song about them...Instead of wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas, "I only want one uterus for Christmas, only one uterus will do, not uteri, or two uteruseses...I only want ONE uteruuuusssss." lol just a little bit of my sick humor :)
So...who has heard of this before? Please don't be shy...I'm not obviously...I have a million questions forming in my mind, as I await my next appointment, but until then my friends and I decided to name them, Barats and Bereta, which ones which it doesn't really matter...or which one works it doesn't really matter...lol...The only thing I know for sure is this explains all the problems I've had with my cycle...But seriously? Two???
Monday, September 8, 2008
Coming soon to DVD...Step Up 3...I can't reach my light fixtures!
The other night I had a dream that I was shopping and I found this adorable pair of pants. The problem was my size was located on a very high shelf. I asked the saleslady if they had a step ladder, and she brought it to me, but when I stepped up onto it, it was very wobbly. I also couldn't reach the pants unless I stood on my tippy-toes, on the handle of the step ladder. It was very unsteady, but I did reach the pants. Sadly, I woke up before I was able to check them out and bring them home to promptly put them on...
...I was telling my dream to Brain, and he thought he would be all philosophical and ask, "What does that mean? The wobbly step ladder?"
It means nothing...except for the fact that Tiff and I would be happy to have even a wobbly step ladder in order to change the light bulbs in our home, because we are both too short to do so! And we are quickly running out of light, to the point that our hallway has become a dark corridor leading to a room where the only light shines from the computer screen. We need a step ladder! Or a really tall friend! I keep forgetting to ask Brain when he's here...Until then, we will continue to stumble up the stairs in the darkness by the light of our cell phones! Hopefully, there will be no injuries/casualties.
...I was telling my dream to Brain, and he thought he would be all philosophical and ask, "What does that mean? The wobbly step ladder?"
It means nothing...except for the fact that Tiff and I would be happy to have even a wobbly step ladder in order to change the light bulbs in our home, because we are both too short to do so! And we are quickly running out of light, to the point that our hallway has become a dark corridor leading to a room where the only light shines from the computer screen. We need a step ladder! Or a really tall friend! I keep forgetting to ask Brain when he's here...Until then, we will continue to stumble up the stairs in the darkness by the light of our cell phones! Hopefully, there will be no injuries/casualties.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
MAY IT BE A LESSON TO ALL...
...if the back of a movie says, "American re-make of the Korean smash-hit," do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT rent it!!!! It shouldn't matter if the star of the movie is ridiculously good-looking, and you may or may not have a history of watching movies based solely upon the good-looking men who are starring in them, if it says "re-make of a Korean smash-hit," it's gonna suck!!! You will most likely sit there the whole time wishing it were actually in Korean so you would be more entertained! Hollywood should never do re-makes of Korean smash-hits!! ever!! And cute guys should never agree to star in Korean smash-hits, because innocent movie watchers such as myself fall prey to their "starving artist looking for work" drama, and in turn waste a perfectly wonderful Sunday afternoon...
...If nothing else taken from the so-called smash-hit, I have learned a lesson! I will probably never stop watching movies for the cute guys, but if I ever come across the combination of "cute guy and Korean smash-hit" again, I will simply put the movie back on the shelf and walk away!
...If nothing else taken from the so-called smash-hit, I have learned a lesson! I will probably never stop watching movies for the cute guys, but if I ever come across the combination of "cute guy and Korean smash-hit" again, I will simply put the movie back on the shelf and walk away!
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